


la douleur exquise

by incipientgrowth (hereforme)



Series: xiuharem agenda [5]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, onesided!xiukai, platonic!xiusoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25336360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereforme/pseuds/incipientgrowth
Summary: He happily stands, sitting next to Minseok makes him want to puke.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Lu Han
Series: xiuharem agenda [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834939
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	la douleur exquise

The smell of booze and the sound of Chanyeol's laughter is what Jongin most remembers when he realizes he's in love with Minseok. It's a celebratory party for Jongdae, who's become a vocal trainer for SM, the largest entertainment company in South Korea, and Jongin is happy, everyone is happy, but Minseok and Lu Han come wearing matching rings and Jongin feels like he shouldn't be there. 

He isn't the only one to spot the rings. Chanyeol and Junmyeon bounce up from their seat to pat the two on their backs, Baekhyun and Jongdae wolf whistle, while Sehun pumps his fist in the air, shouting for more drinks. Jongin tries to laugh but it doesn't come out right, his voice cracking. Kyungsoo gives him a look and Jongin raises a thumbs up, but the other man still gives him a squeeze on the shoulder. It makes him smile, but not entirely so.

Minseok sits beside him, as always, and Jongin mumbles a congratulations with a new drink in his hand. "It's not like we're getting married," comes the older man's reply.

Jongin doesn't want to talk, but it's Minseok, and he needs to at least pretend, "But you always said you hated couple rings, so Lu Han must be really special. I'm happy for you."

Minseok laughs, and punches him on the shoulder, "You're special too."

"Not special enough." 

Jongin grits his teeth at what he said, but soon realizes that there is no need for him to worry, because in the small moment where Jongin pauses, Lu Han steals away Minseok's attention. It's always like that. Jongin fumbling over what to do next, and Lu Han using the opportunity to captivate Minseok without a sweat. 

It isn't fair.

Jongin has always been the one beside Minseok, ever since he was five and the older nine. Lu Han only entered Minseok's life no less than three years ago, yet he has made the older man feel more than Jongin has. It isn't fair, because he wants Minseok to be happy, he wants Minseok to look as alive as he does when he's with Lu Han, but he can't.

Kyungsoo gives Jongin a nudge on the shoulder and he realizes he's the only one not looking happy, and Junmyeon is starting to give him a look from the other end of the room, so he lets out a sheepish laugh, and this time, it sounds perfect.

"You okay?" Kyungsoo hands him another drink, and Jongin is thankful. If Minseok hadn't already branded his name on Jongin's heart, it would have been Kyungsoo.

He doesn't give any answer and Kyungsoo doesn't prod. He later leaves and Jongdae comes in his place, pulling him to take shots. He happily stands, sitting next to Minseok makes him want to puke.

The night goes on with Minseok and Lu Han inexplicably leaving early, complete with a speech from Sehun on learning how to have fun. Jongin takes it as his chance to get completely wasted without Minseok to guilt him into telling the truth.

When his world starts to spin, Jongin retreats back to his seat. He closes his eyes. 

Minseok's face is what greets him. He lets out a small smile, even when his blood is drowning in alcohol, Minseok remains clear. Jongin doesn't try to make Minseok go away, it would never happen, and so, he falls asleep to an old memory of Minseok singing him a lullaby. 

Jongin wakes up on Kyungsoo's couch with a pounding headache. He tries to stand but fails, falling flat on the floor instead. He thinks of staying that way forever.

Kyungsoo later appears with two glasses of water and disheveled hair, "Will you ever tell him? 'Cause I don't think I can take carrying your drunk ass again." 

Jongin's eyes crinkle, he takes the glass of water, "Maybe, when they break up." 

But Jongin never gets the opportunity, because a year later Minseok knocks at his door, asking him to be the best man of his wedding and Jongin wonders if it's possible to die of a broken heart.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted in livejournal 5 years ago. i was really into angsty & unrequited xiukai at that time, probably because of that /one/ series.


End file.
